Kayleigh's Kommentary

I'm finally settling in to a town that feels like it could be home. After I left Deadend, it felt like i was living out of a suitcase. But..... Sinners Rest feels like home to me. Of course, part of that could be from running into so many old friends here.

It does seem like Sinners Rest might be all too much like home though. The other night, I heard odd noises outside the hospital while I was catching up on paperwork. I poked my head out, took a stroll around the fountain, and.... I don't know. I was drugged, hit with a paralytic. Fully aware, fully conscious, unable t move at all. He gagged me, dragged me to... somewhere.... I.... I really didn't think I was going to survive that night. I don't think I've ever felt such fear.

Afterward..... after I was freed, after I finally stopped shaking..... I ran some tests. I still can't ID the exact drug he used. My bloodwork came back clean. Nothing I know of clears the system that fast. I told Cleo about it, we've got a madman out there with a high end drug lab, brewing his own mixes.

Cleo told me he's taken at least two other victims. Two others who endured at his hand and were freed. But there are three others missing..... one of them is Summer! Could this madman have them all? or do we have other threats to worry about?

Jacobi's also moved to Sinners Rest..... that does not bode well for my future, he's already let that be known. I was so upset when I talked to Cleo that I forgot to tell her about his threats. I should, so that if I go missing, she'll know where to start searching.

Well Diary.... as predicted, I went missing for a few days. Not that anyone seems to have noticed. And Jacobi had nothing to do with it.

Summer's been missing... is still missing. Cleo came up to me in her squad car, saying that Summer had been found, and needed me. I was so scared, wondering how badly Summer had been hurt... I should have been scared, but of other things. I know Cleo's been through periods of trouble, but... I never thought she would turn on me. Hand me over to Eva??? All but giftwrapped me for the psycho bitch. Cleo helping her, working with her....

Turns out Eva had Lucy and Carmine too. And the things she did to us.... the things she made us, made me, do....

After what must have been two or three days, Eva tossed me out onto the street. Blocks from home, naked except for the cuffs she left on my limbs. Somehow, I made it home, only being seen by one girl, who actually helped divert attention so that I could sneak back into my building. Where I stayed, shaking and crying, all night long.

Summer is still missing, I haven't seen Eva or Cleo, and if Eva really is, as she claimed, the real power behind the local police, where do we go for help? I just don't know.

Lucy showed up, badly hurt, just as naked as I was. Luckily, I was back to work, and able to patch her up. She's bent on vengeance, and frankly I don't blame her. But I worry about her. And.... well, I'm sure the goodbye kiss was just a friendly thank you.

We are starting to get a staff at the hospital, which is good. Cause if Eva's in power here, we are going to need all the medical personnel we can get. Drs. Messmer and MacBain both seem capable. A girl named Hope has entered the nurse training program, and her very timid friend Sarah may be talked into helping out in some way.... She seems like someone I could help. What a refreshing change that could be, since it seems I'm useless to anyone else.....

How strange the world is.... I so wish I could reach Dwight, tell him about Summer.... the man that was once my worst enemy, I wish would come back now to save us.

My god Diary, I'm in so much trouble. I don't know where to turn. Eva found me while I was taking a walk through town. She insisted I join her for a drink. Which I was reluctant to refuse, after all the last time I tried to refuse her something, Lucy ended up with a broken rib. Besides, sitting in a crowded bar meant she couldn't hurt me, right?

*Kay laughs harshly*

Yeah, right. There's plenty of ways to hurt someone that don't involve physical. She's.... pure evil incarnate, that's what she is. She doesn't trust Lucy. Doesn't trust me. Wants to be sure we will cooperate with her, so she took some insurance. In the form of Carmine, Hope, my new nurse, and Sarah... SJ... the poor girl who is more timid, more skittish, than anyone I've ever seen. What a few days with Eva might do to that child. I have to talk to Lucy. Try to reason with her. I'm with her, somehow, some way, we have to take Eva out, before many more get hurt. But, first we have to convince her that she's broken us, that she wins, that we'll fall into line like good little automatons. Have to do whatever it takes to get those girls free and safe. THEN we can take action.

The next night, I was walking around town, and found that the little gypsy fortune teller shop was opened. I've never done anything like that, never really believed in crystal balls, palm reading, any of that. But... I thought it would be fun, so I went inside. Miss Aida greeted me, asked me nothing about myself, or why I was there, what I was seeking. Just as well, I'm not quite sure what I was looking for, hoping for.

She did what she called a three card reading. She talked about my past, my upbringing. Almost as if she had been there, looking over me. Then she moved on to the present. Made me see that while I want to protect my friends, want to keep them safe, that maybe, I'm tilting at windmills. Maybe the danger, the pain, is just their fate, and by trying to stand in the way of fate, maybe I'm only making things worse, for them and for me. That maybe my role isn't to keep them from getting hurt, but just to use my skills, my training, to patch their wounds. I don't know if I can let go. I don't know if I can just stand by passively, knowing that someone I care about is hurting. But, she made me think about it.

The third card.... I can scarcely believe it... She predicted a new relationship, a bonding, something so intense that she found the need to repeatedly remind me not to neglect my work, my patients, as I got so wrapped up. And, the medical connection, the caduceus. She said that it was just the cards reinforcing the message for me, but.... Surely it would mean more than that, right? My mind flew immediately to our new doctor. Mac... he's very attractive. very single. And.... maybe? Summer found love, twice. Lucy and Cleo found each other. So many couples, I've watched all around me, while I sit home alone night after night. Could Miss Aida be right? Could it finally be my turn?

I went to work, looking forward to a hopefully quiet evening. The shitstorm started before I even walked through the door. Eva made what I can only think of as a goodwill gesture. Hope, shivering from exposure, lying bound and gagged in the ambulance bay. Scared, cold, but mostly unhurt. Not wanting to talk about her ordeal, much more concerned about SJ, and her friend Cloee, who went missing shortly before Eva grabbed Hope. Cloee vanished on the trail of violin music. I know all to well what that means.

Hope... She left, not to go home and go to pieces, not to leave town as fast as she could... but, to go search for Cloee, and to get ready for her first shift at the hospital. In a lot of ways, the girl reminds me of me.

When Hope left, I took a short walk, to clear my head. When I came back, Gem and Mac were both there. Mac for work, and Gem needing some things. I wonder if there's already a connection between them? If Miss Aida, or I, were wrong about the reading? I'm not sure. Gem left, and Mac was still there. It's hard to read his cues. He seemed like he was flirting, then catching himself, becoming very professional, then back to flirting. But... I think we have a date. I'm not going to pussyfoot around. When we go out, I'm going to take a risk, be just a bit forward. I don't want to lose out on what could be a great thing because some other woman gets to him first.

I showed up for work, and actually had a patient, who wasn't carried in bound and gagged. Anton came in to have his sprained wrist checked. He was also asking about Gem, claimed he was just trying to verify that some flowers were delivered to her. But... seemed far too interested in when she would be working next.

Up until that moment, I thought Anton was a nice man. A little rough around the edges maybe, a little harsh, but a man you could trust. When am I going to learn?

Some guy came in, dressed up like it was halloween. Mask, huge cape. Well, in a town like this it takes all kinds. But... before he moved, without a word, he scared me. He just radiated something ominous. Apparently, Anton knew him. And feared him. Anton's a big guy. I've never seen him nervous or fearful of anyone. Hell, he once stood up to Jacobi on my behalf. He's not afraid. Until this robed figure, who called himself Charon, walked in. Anton.... followed his orders. Dragged me into another room, away from the doors. Told me to do everything Charon said. Then, he just left. Begging my forgiveness, letting me know that I was on my own with this madman, Anton left me there.

Charon.... I don't understand what he wanted, why he did it. I've got a few turtlenecks, that will hide the choke marks. My ribs were sore, but luckily nothing broken, he must have been pulling his punches. Not much I can do to hide the black eye, that will have to fade on it's own. He kept calling me slave. All the time he was beating me, doing things, he kept calling me slave. After he was done with me, he dragged me to the lobby, naked except for my heels. He opened the door, and told me to run. He would chase me. If I wanted to survive, I knew I had to find a way to not let him catch me. I ran, as fast as I could, tears flowing down my face. I found a place to hide, and waited. And waited. He must have given up. I didn't want to go back to the hospital for my clothes, in case he was just waiting there. I ran, naked, to the police department. Not even thinking about what Eva might do to me, if she found me in that state, just trying to find someone to help. But the building was empty. I was really scared, standing nude and hurt, in such a deserted part of town. I wanted people around, my nudity be damned. I ran for the diner. And it was closed.

I didn't know what to do then. It was all too much, I collapsed on the ground in hysterics. Steph heard me, from all the way upstairs I guess, and brought me in. She took care of me, got me clothes, strong coffee to calm me down. I hope I didn't put her and her staff at risk by telling her what happened. She seemed really angry at Anton, but.... I can't be angry at him. His fear of this monster was genuine.

I finally talked to Lucy. She reacted pretty much like I expected her to, as if I had gone off the deep end by suggesting that we roll over and play dead for Eva. But... when I explained why, reminded Lucy about Carmine, told her about SarahJayne, she understood. She was pissed, but she agreed to hold off on seeking revenge, until Eva's hostages are free.

After she left, Mac invited me out. We were just going to get a coffee, sit outside at the diner and talk for a bit. But the diner was closed. As was Zoe's. It just seemed natural that we end up back at his place.

*Kay sighs dreamily*

I wasn't wrong. Miss Aida wasn't wrong. Mac is perfect. I'm so happy, I feel like I'm floating. We have to be discreet, have to keep things quiet, at least for now. It would look very unprofessional to have two members of the hospital staff involved together. But, I'm so happy, I could just burst. It was wonderful beyond words to fall asleep, wrapped up safe in his arms.

I ran into Gary a few days back. Of all people. Seems he's ditched his evil twin, lost Simon somewhere along the way, and he's settling into Sinners. As surprised as I am, to find so many old friends here. And such a relief to know, that when we talk to Gary, it's really Gary we are talking to.

He told me he had seen Summer. Oh, thank god, I was so relived, I had been so worried about her. It took me days to finally track her down myself, only to learn..... Someone messed with her. Messed up her mind badly. She doesn't remember me. She doesn't remember.... a lot of important things. I even got Myth involved, had to prove to her I wasn't lying to her. She's still not sure that it's her memory that's messed up, she still thinks half the town is pulling a giant practical joke on her.

Another woman overheard us, and it seems that Gipsi has a few friends also having memory loss issues. And what do they all have in common? Including Summer? They've all been patients at the Rest. I've been trying to go by there, to talk to the doctors there. But the place seems to be renovating, and it's always empty. They'll have to come back, eventually.

oh Diary, it's been so long.... where to start?

Mac is gone. He went to a symposium, as the Keynote speaker. Never told me anything, just vanished. Came back one night, then vanished again. I can only guess that he got a job offer, to let him focus more on his research. Wish he would have said goodbye.

I met another man, a bit of a ne'er do well drifter named Vas. Not my type at all, but... there is a spark there. We'll see. Last night I caught him with one of my new doctors. She claims rape, he claims kinky sex. I'm not sure who to believe. Raja twisted it around, and somehow I ended up under threat of arrest. My head is still spinning. Still, Raja wants me to do something I've wanted to do myself. So, I'll see if I can pull it off, and turn the new chief into an ally instead of a threat. At least it kept Vas out of jail. I'm sure he understood why I didn't want him to come home with me. Not so sure Dr. Klaar will understand, if she catches wind of my connection with him.

In the meantime, Ramsey is back. And he's different. He's being mostly gentlemanly. Acting a little odd, he seems worried about something. Like he's feeling responsible for something. Maybe he's just at a turning point in his life, re-assessing who he is, who he wants to be. I don't know. I just know that I still have that pull to him. Something inside me responds to him, every time. I see the wonderful, loving man he hides inside, and I know I can coax him out. I keep thinking of the lyrics of that Billy Joel song:



But it's like, for Ramsey, it's reverse. He wears this mask of a neanderthal, an abusive, abrasive tough guy. And the mask is hiding something. Something I think he fears, but something I hope is a diamond in the rough.