Violet's Scribbles

(the penmanship is rather shaky as she's writing with a pencil between her teeth)

Day 1

I've never had a good memory... prob'ly cause of all the drugs and treatments I've had in my brain over the years. But when I woke up in a strange town, wearing clothes that don't fit, hands painted with blood up to the elbows...

...I figured maybe it wasn't such a good idea to take me off the thorazine.

The last thing I remembered was being bundled into the ambulance by a couple orderlies. I'd forgotten how bright the outside world could be. The doctor said they were taking me to another facility... somewhere I could rest, where they'd make sure I wouldn't hurt myself no more.

Next thing I know, I'm in a dark alley, holding a bloodstained knife, with somebody else's wallet in my pocket... a naked young thing with a hole in her chest pooled at my feet.

I ran and ran and ran.

...

Met a nice girl called Diddle, who talks through a book and works at the diner. She helped me rebandage my wrists and hosed me down.

She was giving me a tour of the town when a cop car drove up. I was runnin' away like a lil' girl when the cop cried out in a familiar voice... I was so stunned to see Cleo that I barely felt the taser.

She cuffed me while I was on the ground... then next thing I knew I'd slashed Cleo with my knife and was running.

I didn't mean to. I didn't want to! I'm not even sure how I did it with my hands behind my back... But I didn't wanna go back to the shiny room with the brain lightnin' neither.

Slept in the junkyard when it got too dark to stay awake. If it's good enough for Diddle, it's good enough for me.

Day 2

Bad dreams last night.
Screams, blood, an ambulance cab filled with arterial ketchup, painting the walls...
People turned inside out, unrecogniseable.
A pretty girl's face staring up in horror and torment as the knife stabbed and slashed and ripped...

...

Woke up and went back to the diner to see if Diddle was in.

Hid my wrists in my skirt while drinking coffee and eating yummy yummy cherry pie made by the pie-pry-otter pro-pie-eater, Steph. 'Parrently she's named after the diner.

She was quite nice, but took my knife off me, an' replaced it with a dull butter knife. Poot.

I think they bought my story about being a war veteran from the 12th Baby Boomers Brigade, my shoulders broken by 'Namonites.

Turns out Cloee is working at the diner too! It's like Reunion City here.

She was nice enough to let me stay in her shack on the hill. For free! She kept sayin' it was paid for by some scary lady called Benny Factor. Odd name for a girly.

She also mentioned that two girlies who *also* work at the diner (Hope, who's Cloee's "bug-guff", and a gal called Meesa or Messa or somethin') live in the shack, and a couple other homeless girls (who ain't homeless no more).

Chatted with a girl called Allex who saw our fire. Mmmm, fire pretty.

She'd had a nasty run-in with Cleo and wants revenge. Apparently Ceecee's the head of police here!

I'm in sooo much trouble...

Cloee went off to get marshmallows to cook on the fire, but never came back. Double poot.

Allex tried to unlock my cuffs with a key she stole from Cleo, but it broke off in the lock. Great. Now I'm gonna need a hacksaw to get out of these things...

By this point I was sleepy, so curled up on one of the beds in the shack.

Yikes, my arms are killin' me...

Day 3

Woke up with pins and needles. Can't feel my fingers.
Blood's seeping through the bandages on my wrists. Think I must've burst my stitches.

Wandered over to the clinic in search of more dressings (duck me how I'm going to get 'em on though!), and saw Zoe's was open.
Oh sweet fish 'n chips! REAL fish. How I've missed you! Soooo much better than those cardboard fishsticks we get on Tuesdays 'n Thursdays.

We chewed the fat a bit (I'm gettin' pretty good at this no-utensils lifestyle), an' then Louise came in too! It's like This Was Your Life! in this town, only I ain't dead yet.

Louise asked some probin' questions, but I think I managed to get her off the scent. Don't think she's suspicious no more. She almost certainly won't turn me over to Cleo. Or Zoe neither. Or the guy at the counter she asked to pass on the message to the police.

I'm dead. I am so so DEAD.

Oh dangit. An' I left my wallet on the counter with Louise. Well, Kelly's wallet. Though I guess she don't need it no more...

I am in sooo much trouble. Louise told me to turn myself in at the police station. I think I may have to...

Day 4

Didn't sleep well. Kept dreamin' of my arms fallin' off.
Woke up with tummy rumblin'. Why is it that the more you eat, the hungrier you are the next day?
(An' why is it that even when I write I can't pronounce my Ds an' Gs? What's up with that?)

Set out to Steph's (they're gonna start chargin' me rent, I swear!) in search of food. (Me big game hunter.) Armless an' broke, not a dime on me... my chapter of liberty an' independence is goin' from bad to worse.

Tried to convince the redheaded waitress to let me open a tab. Unfortunately, Violet-fu don't work as well as duck-fu, it seems. She shooed me out 'cause she was about to lock up.

Then a lady with a really posh voice confronted me outside the diner about why my arms were chained together. I fed her the same ol' story about how my arms were broke back in 'Nam when I was used as a hand grenade by the 12th Baby Boomers brigade, an' that I had to keep my arms attached so they wouldn't flop about yuckily an' upset folk. I think she bought it.

In fact, she offered to get my handcuffs off with a handyman next door, an' even paid for it! With a big ol' fifty dollar bill! He was really good too. Hands steady as rocks. Then I had to stop pretendin' my arms were broke 'cause Miss Ceara said I was tellin' fibs.

An' then we talked about jobs, an' Miss Sierra gave me another fifty dollar bill! 'Cause she said I was dressed like I was sellin' affection. And made me promise to buy somethin' testful, descent an' apple-rote to wear to my secret-terry job interview. And Miss Sierra said she wouldn't like me no more if I didn't use it to buy a "trigger skittle soapy drugs, diddlin' my nose". Or somethin' like that.

I was hurryin' off in search of a secret-terry dress shop, when I bumped into Lucy of all people! She said she'd take me to a place where I could get cleaned up an' get new clothin' for free! Which is awesome, 'cause the lil' dead girl's skirt was really ridin' up all wedgie-like by that point.

But then I let slip about stabbin' Cleo, an' she got a bit upset an' a lot shouty... but after she wrestled me to the ground she took me back to her real swanky penthouse (turns out she's runnin' the fire department... I admonished her for pickin' on the poor defenseless fires who are jus' doin' their job)...

She wouldn't let me play with the knives in the kitchen, but she let me sleep in the lil' glass box in the lounge.

Locking it seemed like overkill, though.

I went to sleep awful quick after that. Which is weird, 'cause I didn't feel sleepy at all.

Day 5

I woke to the sound of Cleo's police boots scuffing on the carpet. I was thirsty and I needed to pee real bad, but she weren't comin' to play wetnurse.
She unlocked the door of the little cage and trained her gun on me. I tried to say sorry, to make promises, but she weren't having none of it... she seemed so cold, so distant.
She didn't say a thing about me cutting her before... just told me to crawl out, turn around and put my hands on the lid of the cage.
I did what she told me... looking in her eyes, I had no doubt my bestest friend would blow me away if I didn't. What's *happened* to her the last few years? I I glanced down and saw I'd palmed the butter knife under my wrist. When did I do that? Why would I have done that?
Then I must have... blacked out or something... or I guess Cleo must've pistol-whipped me like they do in the movies, 'cause I had a big ol' bruise on my head, my vision was swimming, and I was bouncing along in the cop car in handcuffs... and the butter knife was sticking out of Cleo's forearm. She was driving along all stern-lookin', but I thought I could see tears staining her cheeks.

She dragged me into a real swanky-lookin' reception area. There was a gal there dressed in shiny black and white. Tough lookin' . Cruel eyes. Cleo said to her: "I have a violent escaped mental patient here...see that she is locked up and notify Dr Allen, please?"
I can't believe it. I know I cut her the once and all, but to just hand me over like that?
They stripped me of the dead girl's top, skirt and shoes (including the fifty dollars in my pocket... sorry, Miss Sierra!), and strapped me securely into a heavy canvas straitjacket, bound my legs together with leather straps, fitted me with Hannibal the Cannibal's bite mask, and locked me up in a padded cell in the maximum security ward... which seemed jus' a teensy bit overkill for lil' ol' me!

Shortly afterwards, Dr Amber Box came to check on me. The orderly told her that "The Chief wants you to call her once you have looked at this one."
The doctor assessed me an' said right away that I weren't improved enough to be out in public like the transferrin' asylum said.
She told the orderly I gotta be tightly restrained at all times, and confined to the secure ward, and that they're gonna "Drug her to keep her manageable until we break through to her".
Then she had the orderly put these two plugs in my nethers to "keep my mind focused on something other than violence"... the egg's still buzzin' away against my crotch strap as I write this, an' lemme tell ya, it's real hard to stay focused. That's not as bad as the huuuuge "anal control plug" fillin' my back door, though... they got it wired up to zap me by remote if I misbehave, an' the orderly was happy enough to demonstrate it, misbehavin' or not.

Some time afterwards -- it's real hard to keep track of time in those cells - Doctor Amber's partner Dr Kelsey Allen had me brought out for an evaluation. She was a lot nicer, an' she took the plug outta my mouth so I could talk.
She had me look at a lotta black 'n white blood-stained butterflies an' eldritch abominations on a chart, an' tell her what they were, as if she couldn't see 'em for herself.
She talked a lotta 'bout the Prince of Dorkness too, though I kept tellin' her I ain't gonna have nothin' to do with that two-timin' duckslut no more. She asked some routine stuff like what meddy-sins I been takin'... she seems real keen on lithium.
She gave me some things to think about too, like where I see myself a year from now. I ain't used to thinkin' that far ahead...
Then she had me muzzled an' returned to the secure wing.

Day 6

Woke up to Doctor Kensey rappin' on the observation window and yellin' good mornin' at me, an' the lil' hardboiled egg still buzzin' away inside me. How long do the batteries last in these thingies?!

She took me out to show me to a creepy new orderly they jus' hired... she had black lips an' cruel blue eyes, an' dressed more like a dominatrix than a nurse. She has this predatory look, like a cat who wants to see how long it can claw at a mouse until it stops twitching. She scares the bejeesus outta me...

The doctor went off to check on Summer (yeah, Summer's up here, can ya believe it? An' she's naked an' she got huuuuge boobies!), an' Megyn the new orderly got me showered an' cleaned up an' fitted with a fresh straitjacket.

Then Dr Kensey got her to wrap 'n strap me to a table, an' plug headphones in my ears... then she fitted a tinted glass case over to the top, so I couldn't see out. I wriggled in the cocoon of straps, but I could barely move a muscle.

The music kept tellin' me to relax... that I'm safe, an' that the doctors will help me. It slithered into my ears like waves breakin' on the shore, an' I sank down into its depths, surrenderin' to the darkness.

Day 7-(?)

They must've been feedin' me some hardcore drugs. I can barely think. Feel like I've been slippin' in an' outta conch-cheese-nest for days...

Woke up one mornin' after a really long sleep... felt like weeks... an' my straitjacket'd been replaced with steel underwear... an' a heavy collar an' metal shackles all chained together.

Those dang plugs are locked inside the chastity belt and nobody's ownin' up to havin' the keys, so I'm stuck with 'em. Scary whip lady jus' plucks out the rubber caps when I need to pee, an' I shower with all this stuff on.

Doctor Amber put me in a floaty tube with a swirly spinny thingy which kept tellin' me to do things, mostly relax. It messed with my head... started seein' the swirly thing as a pit that kept drawin' me down deeper an' deeper an' deeper... an' I could hear voices on the other side of the glass, but couldn't make no sense of 'em. I think Doctor Kensey was showin' me off like some kinda science project.

They've gotta new nurse who dresses all in white an' in very little... reminds me of Nurse Leslie, but not nearly as nice.

I thought Miss Rachel was nice at first... I was really really thirsty, an' she fed me liquid food through the slits in my bite mask, an' bottles of water.

I was full by halfway through the second bottle, but she wouldn't let me stop. Kept squeezin' water through the tube 'til I had to drink it or choke.

An' then when she'd got three bottles of water into me an' my bladder was about ready to explode, she fitted me with a catheter and hooked it up to my drinking tube.

Yeah. I don't think I gotta paint you a picture. She said she was makin' me "self-waterin'", so's I'd never be thirsty again... now all I gotta do is tinkle. An' it's gross an' hot an' salty an' burns my throat, an' I can't stop it from comin'.

I'm so gonna tell on her when I see the doctor.

Cake in a file? Meh, I'd give my eyeteeth for some mouthwash right now.

Day n+1

Saw Deme wanderin' about an' tried to get her to let me outta my cell. She promised to ask Dr Kensey about borrowin' her key, but only after lotsa talkin' to a stool called Henry and bein' seriously creeped out by a dark eyeless mannequin she carries about. An' they call me crazy...

Then that scary orderly in the rubber tie took me out to get showered an' fitted me with new plugs an' wrapped me up in the isolation chamber with that creepy Beethoven guy.

Day n+2

Had a nice long chat with Dr Kensey in her office today. We went back in time an' she asked a whole buncha questions 'bout what I was doin' when I was 5, 10, 15 an' 20. It was fun! Not to mention nice to have the gag out of my mouth for a bit.

She let me sleep on her couch when we were done as a special treat. She's very nice! Even though I had to do it with my muzzle and blindfold on again...

Day n+3

A new doctor called Miss Gothly found me in Dr Kensey's office an' brought me back upstairs, where Dr Amber was settin' up some new kinda photo-booth doo-hickey.

I tried to convince that the muzzle was a dietin' aid, but they weren't havin' none of it. Dr Amber said to keep it on or I'll bite folk.

Dr Amber said I'm the only patient they got that's a real patient. All the others are imitation out-patients. Yay! Go team Violet!

Then she took off my blindfold an' secured me in this frame inside the magic box. Amber's box showed me pictures of pretty girls wearin' mostly rope an' distressed expressions, an' the sound-proof box said lots of things at me in Cleo's voice, 'bout servin' an' obeyin' an' pleasin' an' knowin' my place, an' bein' sold to sheets in Arabicaba if I don't.

She said it were "bee haybale therapy". I was all dribbly an' weren't thinkin' straight by the time it were done, an' Dr Amber seemed real pleased 'bout that. She wants me to have a few more days of it an' I'd shown amagazine progress. She said somethin' 'bout updatin' Cleo. Then she put fresh batteries in my vibrator to occupy me 'til my next treatment, an' I didn't pay much attention after that.

Day n+4

Had a wicked therapy session with Dr Kensey. We chatted a lot about university and she made sure I told her every last detail of how the fire got started an' how I met the Prince of Duckness.

She said she can't teach me how to feel empathy like real people, but I can learn what's right and what's wrong. We talked 'bout what I want my life to be like when I get outta here.

And she's gonna get me a sweet doll, like Anna before mom threw her out, and we're gonna start fresh. 'Cause Anna took care of me. But this time I'm not allowed to sew Anna's mouth shut to make sure she don't make fun of me, and her eyes have gotta stay in her head.

I'm to tell Anna when I'm scared, an' what my dreams are, an' Anna's gonna be the "keeper of all that's important, fresh excitin' an' tender". An' Dr Kensey says we're gonna go back in time an' she'll help me fix stuff. An' somethin' 'bout drivin' over speed bumps.

I nodded and smiled politely, 'cause she was talkin' like a crazy person, but maybe Dr Kensey will feel better after she's had her meddy-sin.

Then she held me for a long long time so I could dismember how it feels. She even released my arms and let me hug her for a bit. An' said we may fix my hair tomorrow, 'cause it's a real state from not bein' able to brush.

Dr Kensey made sure I was firmly chained back up, then took me upstairs to meet Loonie (her folks were askin' for trouble!), who's like Deme an' she can go outside if she wants to. She seems to have some kinda weird silverware fetish. But it takes all sorts.

As a special treat, Dr Kensey let me sleep in the dormitory with the other patients last night (strapped down, of course), an' I didn't even have to be muzzled! ... but that I ain't to say or do nothin' violent and/or settin'-on-fire related, or I'm goin' back in the box.

Day n+5

Woke up to the nurse with the big boobies lookin' down at me... she lit matches over me an' promised to "turn me into a crispy critter" if I gave her any trouble... she rubbed lotion into my skin where the shackles'd chafed, an' did some other stuff, an' got me all cleaned up.

Then we went down to the day room an' she fed me yummy coco pops! I wasn't able to finish my orange juice, though, 'cause I broke the glass in my teeth an' had to spit out the fragments. I think she's gonna use a plastic beaker next time.

Then she showed me how to make delicious love custard, an' let me have my hands back so I could stir the bowl. She showed me how to get the bits. so the custard won't spill over the lips. With our powers combined, we made two batches of custard.

She says her mama liked the love custard a lot too, an' she showed her how to make it, an' nursy said that when she's done with me, she's gonna make sure I learn to like the love custard as much as she does.

She also showed me how my heart's in my inner thigh, an' how to feel it beatin', an' she explained that's why I gotta wear the chastity belt, to stop my heart from fallin' out an' gettin' trampled on.

Then she took me back to the dorm, an' made me promise to stay in there until they come for me... but she didn't strap me to the bed like last night, so I got to sleep on my side, yay!