Ceara's personal diary - daily letters sent home to her sister

Thursday 29 October

Well - what do you know - I've been offered another job! I found myself meandering aimlessly into town and came across a soup kitchen of all things. Exactly what I was talking to the reverend about weeks ago! Oh well - there goes one opportunity.

But seems they're new, and looking for folks to help. Don't know if that's for me though - was thinking of funding setting one up, not serving in it myself! And besides I've already got a job even if I haven't started it yet. I think.

I told them I'd speak to them once I knew what's happening about the job at the castle. Not sure which'll take me closer to satisfying daddy though - neither really I don't think. But we'll see. The episode brought a little interest to an otherwise dull and uninspiring day.

Then had another little bit of interest - was 'accosted' by that Mr P - that I met before. Joined him for a coffee and a cheesey toast at Stephs. I know I can be picky and like things done the way they should be - but you should have seen him !! Really got Steph all wound up - was all I could do to keep a straight face. Don't know if he really meant it, or if he was just pissed off and being difficult. Saw him in a new light though. Was disappointed that Steph still didn't have earl grey - but wasn't going to make a thing of it - was too entertained listening to Mr P. And her cheesey toast was good - they've really learned how to make that nicely!

Went home with a smile on my face - the first time since that bitch and her bloody crowbar. Damn this bloody arm - I feel so helpless without being able to use it!

Monday 2 November

Not much happening - and this bloody arm gets me down sometimes. Itches like crazy. I've tried like hell to reach in to the spot, but can't get it. Can't wait for the plaster to come off, but a little while yet !!!

But I now know what's happened to that job. Discovered that they've moved out of the castle and are building a brand new mansion - Ming gave me a tour - an impressive place, or will be when it's finished - it's all sawdust and workmen's tools just now - but the structure is there and the finishings being added at a great rate. I'm told that it'll be finished soon, and then I'll be expected to go take up my duties.

Looking foward to it.

Oh that bloody arm - can't write any more - I'm off to find something to poke inside that ruddy plaster. Maybe a skewer will be long and thin enough ....

Wednesday 4 November

Well - my arm still itches like buggery - but - I can't complain of boredom today - I was wandering down the street, when I saw 'hot bum the second' - for the first time in yonks. That handyman guy - went up and had a chat - could hardly take my eyes off him. Hope he didn't notice. But after a slightly stilted conversation, he went off to his shop and I went off down the street again.

Then bumped into a stranger - a nice looking guy in biker's leathers - but he shouldn't surprise a girl like that - crept up on me and didn't half make me jump. But he seemed harmless and just wanted to say hello. He took me for a drink - and I was just getting the idea that I sort of could get to like him - when he walked out on me, leaving me with my drink half finished! Doh!!!! should've known he'd be like all the rest!

Then who should come in but Simone - my future employer - who seems to own this bar as well. Another girl came in too - dressed as a right tart. To cut a long story short, seems this girl works for Simone too - or Ming - not sure which - and Simone wants me to educate her into being a bit more ladlylike. God you should have seen her - hard to imagine anything less like a lady. Simone made a reference to pygmalion, and she's absolutely right - I think Henry Higgins had it easy compared to this one !!!

Time will tell - I'll do my best for Simone.

Went to sleep that night dreaming of guys' bums in denim and crude whores wearing fancy dresses.

Thursday 5 November

Damn it I've got to remember to lock my door. Dozed off on the rug in front of the fire - woke up to find a strange guy lying next to me on the rug !!!!

Yelled at him to get out - and he got - but was a lucky escape I think!

Wonder what he was after - who goes in to a strange girl's house uninvited and settles down next to her while she's asleep, but doesn't do anything to harm her or rob the place?

Funny

Looked a nice guy too - wonder who he was. I have a hunch I'll be bumping in to him again.

Door will be locked next time !

And my bloody arm still itches like crazy - that skewer didn't to the job - all I did was poke myself with the end of it - probably bleeding inside the plaster cast now but not a lot I can do about it.

DAMN IT !!!!!

Friday 6 November

Someone's been reading my letters! It's got to be! somebody's probably bribed some toe-rag in the postal service, that must be as corrupt as everything else in this bloody place.

Got a weird note pushed under my door, says it's from hot-bum number 5 - that means it's got to be from my letters! Wish I could remember which bum was number 5 - but I really can't. Anyway with it was a big pack of pictures of bums in different clothing, and a request that I comment on each. Stuff that for a game of soldiers - I'm not rising to some daft note from someone I don't know. And anyway - most of those bums aren't that good - though one or two are worth a second look.

Who the hell was number 5. Makes me think of that silly robot thing in that film!

Makes me fume - even personal letters to family aren't safe!

Don't write anything serious to me sis - if it's important and private - use the phone. Though even that will probably be tapped. God I don't know!

Saturday 7 November
what a relief - my arm doesn't itch any more - it drove me so nuts - I went to the clinic - found a nurse there at last - maybe this place is looking up.

Anyway - she removed the caste - applied some cream that was magically soothing and replaced the cast with what she called a soft splint - much more comfortable. Still a nuisance but only for another couple of weeks hopefully.

Went back home feeling much more positive about things.

That girl that was supposed to be 'ladyified' hasn't turned up - wonder if I'm supposed to do anything about it. Must catch Simone and ask.

Sunday 8 November

well I'd never have believed it - and don't tell Daddy - he'd be shocked - but I'm sitting on a bar stool in a bar chatting to the barmaid while writing this. He'd be wondering what happened to finishing school - I know a lady doesn't do this - but somehow - I'm starting not to care any more. This place sort of gets to me after a while - some things don't seem so important any more.

and this barmaid is upset about something - she's starting to talk about it........

god - she was interrupted by another girl coming in - in the nude - or more or less - wearing nothing but a bit of yellow cloth that covers one tit but nothing else. Even in a place like this, a girl shouldn't be running around with everything on public view - disgusting - she should be arrested for indecent exposure!!!!

I made myself smile and then just looked somewhere else - made me feel awkward just seeing her like that - and she didn't seem to care a bit. What drives a girl to be like that I wonder.

She gulped down an irish coffee and left abruptly - - now the barmaid is talking again....

and what a revelation!! - but I promised not to tell anyone - not even you - so you'll just have to wonder. But I can see why she's upset and tried to help her calm down a bit. Don't know if it really helped her though - but sometimes just talking about things helps.

Saturday 28 November

God this is depressing! I should have known better than to go back home - should have known daddy'd never let me out of this so easy! Still it was almost worth it just for a week or two away from this place. Hope you managed to calm him down again after he sent me back. For a minute, I was almost glad to be coming back just to be away from his anger.

And I'm only arrived back for five minutes when it all starts again - I was so knackered I forgot to lock the front door - and some bloody toe-rag walks in and catches me by surprise when I'm changing. He left me with nothing on, tied up on my own bed. His balls must be giving him hell though - got him where it hurts. But can I do against a seven foot tall ogre built like a mountain! Just as well he can't tie knots - after an hour, I managed to work loose.

Guess I was lucky he didn't really want me - just made off with my decoy jewelry box and my 'everyday' cash. That was a brilliant idea of yours - to keep just a couple of necklaces in a little box easy to find. I can replace them easy enough - but don't tell daddy - he already thinks I'm spending too much without enough result and I can do without more trouble.

Anyway, I go out for my breakfast as usual - and find the cafe is all shut up and gone! go down to Zoe's and find it's closed. So I'm back home, hungry, miserable and wanting to be anywhere else - except standing in front of daddy. God knows what he'd do if I came back again now. Damn that trust fund - makes me a prisoner of his ridiculous whims. And as for that nonsense about remembering my schooling ! damn-it!

And to cap it all - it's cold and wet and horrible outside - went my length in the wet slush earlier. Dante didn't need all that fire - he could have just sent folks here.

DAMN-IT !!!!!

Thursday 3 December

Well, I finally decided to stop moping in my house and go do something. I only got as far as next door - seems I have a new neighbour - and perhaps an opportunity really to please daddy. While I was away, a new tenant arrived, and they've turned it into a sort of sanctuary for 'distressed' girls. I met the owner of the place - seems a nice, caring person - we had a long chat and she showed me around.

Straight away, I saw the opportunity - they have to be short of money - and maybe help - to keep the place running. I've learned though, that a lot here is not as it seems, but I saw all round it - she's done it up beautifully - it is simple, economical, cosy and friendly. A welcoming place - and no sign of anything wrong with it.

I'm going to try to catch one of the girls who's stayed there and check with her that it is as nice and innocent as it looks - if so, I'll maybe see if I can get involved. A real chance to support the needy in this place. The same girl apparently owns the soup kitchen as well - another opportunity - might follow up the conversation I had with them all that time ago now.

Made some suggestions about how they could maybe use the place with a little business on the side - they should be able to make some much-needed cash to help support it.

Must try to find Simone and Ming too - see what's happened to that job at the castle - if it's still there after all this time. Hope so.


Trying to stay positive - it's not easy in this dump.

Now - I need some supper and no idea where to get it from now that Stephs is gone. And I don't supposed Zoe's is open yet. Someone needs to take over Stephs and start feeding the population again ! Oh well - if I don't go look I'll go hungry. Doh!!

I'm sorry sis - it's been ages since I wrote - just sort of lost interest in things I suppose - been a hermit this last couple of months, letting life flow by outside. Anyway - it's all happening now - all kicked off by a scatterbrained scottish girl who needed an organist for her wedding - I heard and rashly mentioned that I used to play before I could stop myself. Anyway - I ended up sitting in the corner of the chapel at a delightful little organ, people-watching in between playing for her - what a couple - she looked like she didn't know one end of a church from the other, and the groom looked even worse. Had to get the rings from a girl half way down the church - they'd forgotten they're supposed to have a best man I suppose. It was all I could do not to burst out laughing - the look of shock and anguish on the bride's face was all that stopped me. Still, the bridesmaid looked lovely, and the girl herself looked super, even if she managed to look head-over-heels and petrified all at the same time. And you know what - when they got to the vows - I could swear - the groom forgot his - I mean - how can you forget what you want to say at a moment like that? Then he spouted some romantic nonsense about haggisses - I mean - bizarre, the whole thing. And what the bride said I haven't a clue - she had such a strong accent, I caught something that sounded like 'dirty washing' - but it couldn't have been. They should have filmed it and sold it as a comedy!

Hope they're happy together - for all that it was daft, it was moving too, and they looked totally besotted with each other.

And guess what - I've moved house! Just across the road. They knocked down that awful police station that was spoiling the view out of the front window - and built these new ones - much nicer - and with a back door out to the hills. My letter to the council about city planning regulations must have actually been heard! A pity they forgot to put any locks on the doors though - in a place like that I'll need to get that fixed quick.

Now I'm out and about again - I'll have to go and chase up that job in the mansion - and the woman's opened a club in the town down the road - she said she might want me there too - need to get things moving. I've got to start doing things or I'll never placate daddy - and will be in this awful place for ever!

I'll won't wait as long before writing again - tell daddy I'm all right and making good progress - he can read into that what he likes.

Thursday 11 February 2010

It's been a few days - I'm sorry - but just after I wrote you before - I got burgled. Look - I'm sorry to ask this, but can you get a little more cash out of daddy for me - the burglars took my jewelry box - not my decoy one - but the 'real' one - the nice inlaid one, and everything in it! I'd just moved house and hadn't got things properly organised when they came in. Nearly everything was in there - the whole lot! And - I don't know - but I think I'm going to need plastic surgery - the ogre stamped on my breasts - both sides - and he was built like a truck- enough to break ribs. I'm not just sore, I'm flattened and mishapen - and I'm sure that sort of surgery doesn't come cheap.

Don't tell him why - tell him anything you like except why - just get the money please?

Bumped into someone else today - that nice well-dressed girl who came to tea weeks ago - the one that is representing some engineering company in this town, not that I understand why any big company would care about a place like this. Anyway - had a mug of chocolate each in Zoe's while we chatted - and I could swear she was making eyes at me. She is kind of nice - I asked her to come round to the house again for tea sometime - hope she does.

On second thoughts - don't go to daddy straight away - go to the insurance company - the stuff taken's got to have been valued at what - 200K maybe - they should pay up and daddy doesn't need to know. The list of what it was is in the safe - you know where - all except the garnet choker and matching earrings - I've still got them. Oh - and that diamond necklace and earrings - the 'queen something' one that I lent to that girl that got married - haven't got it back yet - but it'll be safe (hope she's got it safe somewhere!). everything else on the list is gone. On second thoughts - assume it was stolen too - the extra'll go towards the surgery.

Thanks sis !! I appreciate it! Quick as you can though - please!

Friday 12 February 2010
Met a new friend - a lovely girl called Aless - saw her briefly outside a cafe in that DeadEnd slum down the road - bumped into her again here - she recognised me immediately - and came along for tea - which turned into wine - she has a nice taste in wine. Was just getting nicely tipsy when she had to go though - well - we both were - but I'm sure I'll see her again - she seems lonely. It was nice to have some company - I don't go out so much just now - self-conscious I guess, with my breasts looking the way they do now and covered in bandages. But I'm feeling a bit more myself, so time to go investigate plastic surgery and see if I can't start to get things looking right again.

Found a little more jewellry that got mixed up with my clothes in the move which the burglars missed, and I've still got some day-to-day money, so I'm not broke - but please hurry on with that insurance claim. I don't want to have to 'really' find a job - that would be a nightmare, and embarrasing to boot. Besides, I'd have a hard job doing what daddy wants if I'm working my fingers to the bone to pay the rent.

Not seen that engineer girl again yet - hope she comes round soon - would be nice.

Oh - and I've found another 'hot bum' - I'm going to see if I can cultivate him. Haven't actually met him yet - just seen him around - but he looks fabby. I'll tell you how it goes.

Heard also that the reverend has left - the church is all shut up and emptied. Pity - she was nice - and just as I was starting to enjoy playing the organ there too. That little organ would look nice in my sitting room, if it would fit - I'd have bought it from her. Oh well - too late now. Funny - a spectacular wedding - and next week she's gone - wonder why - don't suppose the two are connected.....?

Write soon about the insurance won't you !!!

Sunday 14 February 2010

Well - seems I've met another new friend. Seems that dipit scottish girl that got married the other week has a sister - Mhairi - bumped into her this morning. She's as hard to understand as Seonaid is - same awful bumpkin accent - but underneath that - well - she and I sort of hit it off I think. She started talking about how she came from a croft - and what she's doing here - and what a handful Seonaid was (and it seems still is) - how Seonaid's new husband will have a challenge taking her in hand, and might need 'family help'. Come to think of it - from a comment Seonaid's boss, Louise made the other day, I think she also thinks Seonaid needs some encouragement to stay on the straight and narrow - seems Mr P really does have a handful to cope with. Mhairi also talked more about herself - she's not the ignorant highland girl she sounds, unlike her sister it seems - she's quite the business-woman! I even found myself talking about my schooldays and how I came to be here too. She's going to be coming round to the house sometime - I think. I'll be looking forward to that!

Oh - and I've got an appointment made for my reconstructive surgery to get my tits back to normal - that'll be a relief. A very nice doctor in the town down the road has said she'll do it - and is fully qualified for that sort of thing. I don't think I could be in better hands.

But it's valentine's day - where are all the 'hot bums' that used to be around. There is one I've got my eye on - but he doesn't know it - we've never even met - and I haven't seen him for a bit. Knowing my luck he'll either not come back or he's already spoken for, or he'll be the typical ogre type!

It's not fair!

Friday 19 February 2010

God what a week - I don't know where to begin - this place is a bloody nightmare. And it seems my breasts are in a real mess - she said I might not be able ever to feed a baby - but she also said there was a chance and she do her best - the doc I mean - and she sounds good - she wouldn't say that if she didn't think she could do it - she's obviously preparing me for the worst just in case but I know she'll sort me out properly - she's nice, and sounds very very good. I couldn't be in better hands. She's preparing things for me at the hospital and I've to go back in a week to get my breasts back to normal - and I know they'll be as good as new after. Can't wait !! and maybe they'll be just a tad better shaped too !

But I wasn't thinking that at the start of the week - I went to that appointment earlier on Monday and got turned away - some tart had got herself banged up and they had to sort her out before me! What's a top-notch reconstructive surgeon doing sticking plasters on a banged-up girl off the street? That place needs more staff !

But then my memory goes funny - I remember meeting a friend as I left the hospital - remember being glad to see her - then was with her somewhere with a glass of beer - but I don't remember who she was. Then a flash of something - in a tiled room - my clothes had gone and my head hurt - think it was bashed against a wall or something. Then I woke up in a bloody sewer, naked and tied up so as I couldn't move a muscle. Don't know quite how long I was down there - felt like for ever but I think it was two days - you don't notice the stink after a while, but it must have been awful - felt like lying in everyone's shit - including my own. Why do folk choose to work down there ????? disgusting.

I wasn't really with it - when a heavenly angel came in the form of a girl - what she was doing down there I can't imagine - I couldn't really speak and could barely stand - somehow she gave me some water and got me to the clinic. They got me cleaned up - I was in a sort of daze I think - and more water, and more water, until my head cleared a bit.

Then I realised the doc was the same one as was going to go my breasts - and she took a look, and told me what was what like I said. Then I was discharged, and - a bit shakey, in borrowed clothes, managed to get the bus home and get into a nice hot bath. Then who do you think turns up - but that angel that rescued me - Lacie her name is - she's lovely - really was like an angel - she even stripped off and got in too to help me bathe and get clean again. Suddenly I was so sleepy, and relaxed, and clean, and warm, she helped me slip into bed and then left me to sleep.

she's really nice - I've so much to thank her for - wonder where she lives - hope she comes round again.

God I'm starving - time to go find breakfast !!! Then I need the police - somebody must have put me down there - but don't suppose they'll do anything.

Friday 19 February 2010

Damn daddy and his daft plans - does he realise what he's putting his sweet little girl through? I can't relax for a second, even in my own bloody home. There's me, resting, trying to get my strength back and yet another bloody nyaf barges in - he's as thick as two short planks though - managed to escape out of the back door, convincing him it was the toilet. But - I was too weak to do much running - he caught up with me - the vicious toad - he grabbed my tits, mashed and bruised though they are, even through the bandages, and clawed at them till I screamed. God it was agony - the bastard had me like a rag doll and didn't care. But he obviously had a one-track mind - it was over quickly - why doesn't he go out and buy a blow-up doll with a screaming thingy inside it - that would probably do him just as well. Now I'm all sore again.

And yet - he was kind of good looking - what the hell is it with this place - why do all the guys have their brains in their bloody dicks. Every decent arse I've seen either disappears again, or turns out to be a vicious low-life. And that guy I've got my eye on - he's not been about for ages either - he's probably gone and vanished too. Makes a girl want to weep in frustration.

DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN BLOODY DAMN !!!!!!

Saturday 20 February 2010

The bastard !!!!!!! He wondered in here as bold as you please - I looked up and there he was. The same guy as raped me yesterday. This time I saw him off - was able to get my throwing knife and a carver - before he could get close. Just like last time, he tried to act nice at first - he's a snake - I'm going to get the cops on to him.

Anyway, when he saw the knife, he scarpered - next time I won't warn him - he'll get the knife in his belly. I'm going to wear it all the time now - just as well we did all that throwing back at school - I could hit him at ten paces easy!

I'm due to go back to the clinic shortly for that surgery - if his clawing at my tits the other day has put things back, he'll regret it.

Saturday 20 February 2010 - second letter

Sis - that insurance money - have you spoken to them yet. I'm due for that surgery shortly - I need it quick - please chase them or something - but don't tell daddy unless you have to. If you can't get it quick, I'll have to sell a necklace or something- but I've only got two or three that weren't burgled !! And I can't sell everything - I can't go out half-dressed - I need something to wear.

Wish that dipit Scottish girl would get back from romping in the hay with her man - her honeymoon seems to be going on for ever. She's got one of the more valuable necklaces - I need it back now!

Sunday 21 February 2010

I got your text - what do you mean - the insurance company won't pay - what are they objecting to - why - just that queen-anne necklace alone had to have diamonds worth $50K at least - and that was just one of many more items. The jewellry box itself was valuable - and I've been paying them enough in premiums. Please get on to them again. Quickly !!!

And what do you know - I've got someone in to lodge with me !!!!! Met her by chance in the new Sinners Bay area - got chatting - she's nice - and has an appreciation of the more refined things in life. Is familiar with correct behaviour in society - and likes Earl Gray. She came round for tea this afternoon - we chatted for ages, getting to know each other. Her name's 'Cyn' - and she's very nice. She's also an expert in self-defence which is exactly what I need - I feel a lot safer knowing someone like that is around. And she says she'll teach me the basics too - something I really need.

Just saw the doc about my surgery - need another week before she can proceed. Good news and bad news - seems on one side, she can put everything to rights - as good as new. But on the other side, I'm never going to lactate - so if I have a baby, I'm going to be all lopsided I suppose. Does that mean that afterwards, I won't be symmetrical any more - I didn't think to ask that !!!!

On the other side, that bloody ogre mashed me up beyond repair - she can make my breast look and feel right, but it'll never produce milk. I suppose I should think of myself as lucky .. somehow - now I have time for it to sink in - I feel sort of inadequate - like I'm missing something important. I'm not looking forward to this - but couldn't have a better surgeon - I think if she can't fix something, nobody could.

Monday 22 February 2010

Oh sis - this place is a nightmare - I cried myself to sleep last night - on top of everything - that girl I told you about - Aless - that was really nice? She isn't!!! she's a bloody callous, vicious bitch !!!! just as I was beginning to think I'd found a true friend. She was telling me I needed something to defend myself - quite right too - says I should try a taser like hers - then she demonstrates it on me to show me what it does !!! No warning - just - .... god it was SORE really sore - and embarrasing after. And I'm sure I caught a strange glint in her eye as she did it. Then I'd just about started to get over that - when she suggested I should take a taser and practice by taking pot shots at drunks coming out of the bars, or beggars on the dockside - that that's what she did - and I should do it too !!!

I can't have a friend who thinks like that ! Apart from anything else - what would daddy say? I'm supposed to be helping people, not electrocuting them! And besides - I know I've had my past 'adventures' - and they didn't all mean sugar and spice - but - there's a big difference between taking the cane to some tart that deserves it, and just shooting at people for target practice - even if it doesn't kill them (quite). And I haven't caned anyone since finishing school ... honest .... well - not really.

I told her to go - I'm going to have to watch out for her - I don't want her tasering me again, or something worse - and after seeing the look in her eye, I wouldn't put it past her to try.

Still - she's got a point - I do need something more than my little knife. Would a taser be that bad - if I kept it for self defense? But the only person I could use for target practice after that is Aless - would serve her right - the little cow! That wouldn't be too wrong?

would it?

Thursday 25 February 2010

It's hospital tomorrow. I went along to make the appointment - having been taking the meds I was given for a week. It was all so matter-of-fact - I saw the surgeon - she gave the impression it was all ordinary and routine - like she rebuilds mashed breasts every other day ! I can't stop thinking about it - what will I look like after - what'll it be like - will it hurt - - I've been in hospital before, but always in some sort of 'emergency' - never before when it's planned, and I know what's coming - except I don't know - not really - - they're going to put me to sleep beforehand I suppose - but how? and what will I wake up to? God, will I wake up? you hear these stories about things going wrong.......

Was talking to my new lodger earlier - she started to give me some tips on self defence - things that seemed so obvious but never occurred to me before. But I need to practice - she says she'll help. But not until this surgery is over.

I'm going off to try to get some sleep now - it's late. I'm going to end up scarred, I know I am ..........

wish me luck sis !! please?

Saturday 27 February 2010

Thank god it's over. I'm sitting up in a hospital bed feeling like I've been kicked in the chest and still covered in bandages. But - the good news - I could hardly believe - the doc has managed to restore both breasts fully - they'll work on both sides !!! and no implants - she's a miracle worker!!! I can't wait to see how they look, but these bandages have to stay on for a week - then I've to go back and get checked over and have them taken off.

But - something strange happened earlier - Its a bit woolly, but I'm writing it down before I forget what I do remember. I went to the jade dragon - hours early - to try to calm myself with a cup of tea - was there for ages sort of staring into space and going over things over and over again in my mind while life passed by. Then - a new waitress forgot to bring a spoon for the sugar bowl - I asked for one - a bit irritably perhaps but not aggressively - then when she brought it back, it was dripping wet - soaking the sugar - I asked her to dry it - which she did and thanked her when she finally brought me a dry spoon. But in the middle of all this - some jumped up policewoman started yelling at me - she even stormed over and started yelling inches from my face- I remember her expression, agressive and nasty. I wasn't going to take that - and it was as much as I could do to hold myself together quietly with the operation looming - so rather than have a ruckus - I got up and walked out. The would-be policewoman followed me, yelling. Finally I could take no more and burst into tears - just wanted the world to go away. Next thing I knew there was another policewoman there - and they were trying to arrest me !! I asked them for what - didn't get a straight answer - then felt a sudden pain in my arm - I remember lashing out blindly - then next thing I knew I was in a padded cell - all a bit vague really - with a kindly doctor that was explaining to me how the surgeon would be able to fix me up 100%.

I don't think I'm remembering everything though - wish I knew who that other doctor was - but the surgeon will know - I'll have to ask her.

I'm going to go to the fortune teller when I get back - she's good at hypnosis - see if she can help me remember what happened. But I've half a mind to sue the police for harassment - that nyaf of a would-be policewoman was right out of order - she doesn't deserve to be in the force. I don't know who she was either, but I'll know her voice - come to think of it - Louise might know. I'm going to do some asking around. Or maybe I'll go to the press. I don't know, but I've got to do something, for the sake of all the other police victims - I can't be the only one.

Behaviour like this can't be tolerated - the police are supposed to help the community - not behave like neandertals - there are enough of those around these parts already.

For now though - I'm just happy it's all over and I'm out of here today !!!!!! Can't wait to be home again - I hate hospitals !!!!!

Sunday 28 February 2010

God will it never end! And sis - I need you to get that bloody insurance company to pay up - I've been robbed again - what little I had left is now gone too - i've no jewelry now except a few cheap trinkets - and the bastard made off with most of my good clothes as well. Don't tell the insurance company of that though, until they've paid up for the first claim.

I guess all I've got left of any value is that necklace that that scottish girl took and never gave back - she'd better still have it - I really need it now. Thank god he didn't find my emergency money - so I'm not on the street - but - - sis - you've got to do something fast.

After the attack, I was left tied up on the floor, my shoulder killing me with that old knife wound from a few weeks ago. Thank god he didn't muck up that breast surgery I'd just had - I'd literally got home, collapsed on the sofa and was falling asleep, when it happened. I was so shocked and sleepy I completely forgot the self-defence advice Cyn gave me - I need to practice until it becomes automatic.

Eventually Ming came by - saw me through the window - suddenly there were lots of folk standing around looking at me - including that nice doctor from the hospital - the reasssuring one. But I've a bone to pick with her - she went and injected me with something - a sedative she said - and dumped me in a wheelchair just as I was going upstairs to check on what was missing. She whisked me off to hospital before I could stop her - then left me in a loading bay and never came back. Eventually I came too enough to get up myself and just come home.

And sis - he took my cell - it has the family phone numbers in it - including yours - please be wary - don't know what he might try to do. God help us if he calls daddy!

Going to get in touch with that lawyer, and also must find that hypnotist - I need to remember how I ended up in that padded room before the op - something's fishy.

Oh - and he took my little pearl-handled throwing knife - I wasn't quick enough to use it - could you send me a couple more from the set in my bedroom cupboard please?

And sis - please don't tell daddy of the theft - he'd be livid - just get on to that insurance company - please? And maybe - you could lend me a bit to tide me over until they settle the claim?

Thank you so much

Friday 5th March 2010

Sis - great news - the surgery was an amazing success - and the stitches are out and the bandages gone - and - I look just like I did before. I feel a little bruised but I'm told that'll quickly go away, and almost no scars. It couldn't be better !

Thanks for those two knives - and yes I know they're valuable too - I bought them didn't I? I'll try not to lose them.

You didn't mention the insurance company - please keep chasing - my remaining cash is starting to run low - I can't be in the position of having to earn money - you've got to get them to see sense! I still haven't got my necklace and earrings back from that blasted scottish girl - not even the courtesy of an acknowledgement to my letter - even if Seonaid couldn't be bothered replying, you'd think her husband would. Anyway - I'm not having it - I've engaged a lawyer to sort it out for me and get my property back. She seems efficient - I'm sure she'll be successful. If not, I'll go down to their island and just take it back - but I' d really rather they came forward with it. What I'll do if they've lost it I don't know - I really need it. Perhaps the lawyer can get the authorities to deduct the cost of it from the girl's wages at wherever shes works - the jade dragon in DeadEnd I think - I don't know - I'm sure the lawyer will know all the options.

Keep pushing sis - this could start to get worrying.

Sunday 7th March 2010

God - it's all going wrong - I've lost my house - was scheduled to be demolished as dangerous after the earthquake - they came this afternoon and turned me out. I'm told I'll get my advance rent honoured - but that's a fat lot of help tonight - I'm on the bloody street !

Cyn is homeless too - my lodger - I can't believe it - we're having to stay in a squalid mess of a refugee camp for displaced earthquake victims. Its a disgusting mess - only thing going for it is it's warm.

This sort of thing can't be allowed to happen - I'm going to have to get on to that lawyer again - someone in the council needs brought to book. Wonder if she's written to that scottish minx yet. But Cyn - she's a tower of strength - she's here with me.

Had a heart stopping moment earlier too - went in to the bar for a drink - suddenly realised the guy at the far end of the bar was the guy who'd attacked me a few weeks ago. You could have cut the atmosphere with a knife - the poor barman sensed it but couldn't have understood. Never have I found the presence of my little throwing knife so comforting

Thankfully - it all fizzled out - nothing happened - but only because I was on my toes.

And that guy came by to the camp later - saw him off again - will he never leave me alone!

How do folk live without money - it's hell.

Wednesday 10th March 2010

Oh sis - I don't know whether I'm coming or going - life goes up - and down - and up - and back down again.

I saw my new house - was a bit of a building site still - but it's going to be lovely - and my pre-paid rent is to be carried over - so I've got two or three weeks before I'm on the street. Sis - you've got to get the insurance company to pay up by then !!!! or I've got to get it out of that mynx. That lawyer's taking her time - if I don't hear soon, I'll be on to her.

So I'd just got my hopes up - and was all ready to stay in the new house, draughty and dusty though it was, when I'm told it's too dangerous. Back that that filthy camp again.

A couple of days later, I trudged back to the house - they really need to sort those paths - and found the whole place was cleaned up and had doors on - ready for decoration. Fantastic - still got to furnish it - and put some partitions up - but it's so much better.

Then there's a knock at the door. It's that bloody nyaf that attacked me that I keep bumping in to - like in the bar the other night, and at the camp - like he's stalking me or something. But - - and this has me totally confused - he said he'd set up a trust fund for a whole lot of money in my name, for me to use, because he felt so bad about attacking me. I had no idea whether to believe him or not - it was all I could do to stay sort of civil until I could get him to go away. He looked, sort of - well - like he might actually have meant it. Spun some story about being drugged when he attacked me - but I've heard that one before. But they didn't give me money afterwards. I sent him away - but sis - I sat down on the floor and gazed at that door for ages after he went - I'm confused. Then a courier comes round with a letter from my lawyer, saying that someone has sent up a trust fund - so it's true !!!

I don't know whether to draw on it or not. I don't get it. Why is life so complicated? And what does he really want?

I cried myself to sleep last night, on the bare floor of my new house.